Everyday in lunch in highschool

In all of my senior year

I'd drink my coca-cola with a touch of Everclear

I'd never have to study math, science, or history

I'd have a chemical flashback to jog my memory,

In my junior year,

I swore I loved sweet Mrs. Sherry Ann

One night I put some Everclear in her Dr. Pepper can,

I thought it'd make her easy,

She took it pretty hard,

I took her home and rang her door bell, left her lying in the yard.

Tequila dries me out,

And beer just makes me fat,

Whiskey makes me nauseous, tell me who the hell needs that,

If your thinking about drinking,

Then the answers crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,

It's called Everclear.

I remember my church picnic in the spring of '89,

Yeah they had 4 fresh watermelons sliced right off the vine,

When they bowed their heads giving grace for the food,

Hey I pulled out my bottle, and I soaked them melons good.

They never knew what hit them when the potion went to work,

They had grandmas doing backflips, grandpas looking up their skirts,

They were saying "Hallaluyah" and Willie Nelsons songs,

Preacher said it was the best dang picnic that the Baptists have ever thrown,

Tequila dries me out,

And beer just makes me fat,

Whiskey makes me nauseous, tell me who the hell needs that,

If your thinking about drinking

Then the answers crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,

It's called Everclear.

When Im drinking Everclear,

I think Im king of this whole world,

Im bigger and badder than John Wayne, and cooler than Steve Earl,

Until I wake up, and I'm face down in the hall,

And Im completely naked for a reason I can't recall,

When Im kinda sorta thinking that maybe I met a chick,

Cause there's perfume in the air, and there's lipstick on my neck,

And I hope that she was pretty, and I hope that she was kind,

Enough to leave my clothes somewhere their easy to find,

Tequila dries me out,

And beer just makes me fat,

Whiskey makes me nauseous, tell me who the hell needs that,

If your thinking about drinking,

Then the answers crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,

It's called Everclear.